Been there.
Done that.
The t-shirt’s worn out.
I’ve been following Dave’s blog semi-regularly. As I told him, it just depends how fast I’m scrolling through FB. When he asked if I’d be a guest contributor I was pleased. I figured that because he’s got his financial head screwed on right, he thought I did too.
Mark Twain once said that religion and politics should never be discussed in polite company, and I’m sure he’s right. But discussing money can turn polite company -- and good marriages -- into proverbial minefields.
Why is this such a contentious matter? Unlike many things in life, having money, or at least the appearance of wealth, defines so much of who we are, and the neighbours are watching. How big is their house? How new is their car? Vacations. Clothing. Jobs. The list is endless, and many are held captive by it, both figuratively and literally.
When you spend more money than your job pays, just to keep up appearances, you don’t have to have aced your high school math classes to know that trouble is brewing. Keeping that monster fed eventually becomes impossible and the house of cards you’ve so carefully constructed becomes a flaming wreck. But there’s hope.
You know how GPS helps you navigate a city you’ve never visited? If you follow the principles set out in Dave’s posts, you’ll learn to steer your life in a new direction. And do you know what? Lessening financial burden is a great place to be. The neighbourhood will be new and different, and when you’re the new kid on the block it can feel terrifying. Eventually, though, you’ll settle in, put down roots, and before you know it you won’t dread the bills or (heaven forbid) receive the phone calls, telling you what you already know about the ones that are way overdue. The journey to get here can be long and hard, but each mile along the road will bring you closer to peace and freedom.
I’d like to share a tip for instilling financial understanding and responsibility early. When my youngest sister got her first job, my Dad would take her out for breakfast every Saturday morning following her payday. They’d talk about how much money she made and what she planned to do with it. Afterward they’d go to the bank with her cheque (it was a really, really long time ago) and she make her deposit. The largest part of her money went into a savings account, some was turned into cash (now the account you use for a debit card), and some of it was earmarked for giving to others.
She married a man who hadn’t experienced the same kind of guidance. It was really hard for them at first, but she showed him what she’d learned, and on the foundation, made solid by my dad, they built their marital financial foundation. In their mid-forties now, they own a home that was built new for them – modest, but lovely – and they are able to take creative (and modest) vacations with their two children. I haven’t asked her how many months of emergency cash they have banked, but they have no credit card debt, and their older, but reliable, cars are paid for.
If you can’t take Dave’s word for it, take mine. We wouldn’t work so hard to impress people if we realized how little they cared. And those who are easily impressed by things, aren’t worth ruining your financial life over.
-Phyllis Diller Stewart
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