The group of guys that I spend time with don't think it’s okay to lie to their wives.
The group of guys that I spend time with believe that secrets destroy families.
I've been meditating lately on what honesty means to me. My father has always been known for his commitment to being completely honest. My mother has always been known for the same, and she has a strong reputation (that continued to be talked about years after her retirement) to her commitment to putting in an honest day’s work.
I was taught that honesty and convenience had nothing to do with each other, and it's often inconvenient to be honest.
“White lies” were also known as “lies”.
Convenient omissions of details were in the same category as lies.
One of the things that makes me uncomfortable but is true - beyond me knowing better - is that I don't lie to my wife because it wouldn't serve any purpose. Christina would know, or I’d spill my guts.
What I’ve been thinking about lately is our lies to ourselves.
Who calls us out when we're dishonest with ourselves?
For me, I have a close family member who I have given permission to call me out, even when calling me out would hurt my feelings. Christina can call me out. This is a special privilege, a particular vulnerability, an intimacy in relationship that may not choose to extend to say, your parents, or a sibling.
Dishonesty is ugly and is always going to hurt people (especially people you didn’t expect to hurt) but you’ve got to really think about the commentary it provides on your relationship with yourself if you can't be honest with yourself.
What are you hiding from?
When we talk to ourselves, we need to be truthful. We need to be kind to ourselves, we need to be realistic, and we need to be honest - Proverbs 12:22 (NIV) “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”
As you talk to yourself, ask this – is this how God would want one of his children spoken to?
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