Male friendship in trying times.

I'm not changing my blog in a fundamental way - this is a personal finances blog.

Your relationships and your emotions are a crucial part of how you navigate your finances.

You need a friend.

I think that it’s difficult for men to talk about loneliness - especially when that loneliness has to do with a lack of male friendship. I can’t speak for another gender, but I assume that women also need friendship.

I’m open to telling my wife that I feel lonely, or taken for granted, or bored - some folks may not be. 

There’s no substitute for companionship, for friendship. There’s no amount of wine, gambling, pornography or spending that is going to change your loneliness.

Your wife is, but is not, your friend. You must have someone outside of your relationship.

In Financial Peace University, Dave Ramsey says something interesting - “Money won’t make you happy. It won’t. It’ll make you more of what you already are. If you’re depressed and you get money, you’ll be unbelievably depressed.”

I think we do too little to nurture the relationships that we already have, and they die by attrition. Get on the phone - leave a voicemail, text someone out of the blue. We’re all busy, but we make too many excuses and we need to stop. Add a line to your budget to go out to coffee or a meal out with your friend.

Coronavirus has brought a lot of pain for people - and we need to start pushing back. We need to move out of the isolation that we’ve been in and safely start fellowship.

Guys, the pain of the embarrassment of sending a “Hey, you busy tomorrow night?” text is going to be a heck of a lot less than the pain of loneliness - get out there and invest!