When I am feeling down, I tend to spend. When I’m on an even keel, I tend to be able to manage.
In either state, I don’t borrow money, because...we don’t borrow money.
I rely on Tina to prompt me when my spending exceeds my budget - I usually give her my debit card when this happens.
This level of accountability may seem unusual or intense, and I guess it is.
Christina’s spending sprees used to look like a couple of hundred dollars of clothing, some of which would end up getting returned as she “bought two sizes”.
My old spending sprees would look like an RV in the driveway.
So yeah, I’m cool with giving my wife my debit card when she thinks I may be a bit off the rails.
Tina and I have learned to push each other in ways that other couples may not be comfortable with yet.
I think recognizing when you need more support from your partner is critical. You have to be comfortable being called out, and able to submit to another person’s instruction.
This submission idea is huge - you’re not “whipped” or being a pushover by taking good advice. God’s put your spouse in your life for a reason - He knows your weaknesses.
When you’re in a spot where you’re not yourself, when the seasons are changing and you know you’ll experience depression - use your spouse! - discuss your budget, the support you’ll need, discuss the goals that you have - you have to make plans when things are good for times when things are rough.
One thought:
-submit to your spouse. If they’re so dumb, if their advice is so bad, why did you pick them to marry? Your put-downs on your spouse are a reflection of your judgement.
Commentaires